Memorial of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, Priest
Before Saint Ignatius became a priest, before he founded the Society of Jesus (Jesuits), before he became a man dedicated to prayer, he had been a soldier. His comrades (and even his enemies) admired his courage, discipline, and resolve. Ignatius loved the life of a soldier and it was only after being severely wounded and lying bed-ridden for months that he began to discern that God was calling him to a different way of life: a life dedicated to the service of God and the Church.
It is quite possible that at some point Ignatius regretted his prior years as a soldier. Perhaps he would have thought in his newfound zeal “If only I had always been a priest; if only I had always lived only for God. All those years as a soldier are worthless and wasted.” Such attitudes are fairly common among those who have had a profound conversion experience. We can view our “prior life” as meaningless; we can view that life as being “without God.”
Yet we must still acknowledge that Ignatius learned skills and virtues as a soldier that he certainly needed in the service of God and the Church. Ignatius learned discipline, courage, accountability, leadership, sacrifice, etc. as a soldier. He would need all of those virtues as a “soldier for God.” We can say, then, that God was forming and developing Ignatius even when Ignatius didn’t know it. The same is true for us. There never was a time “before God”; God has always been in our lives, shaping us and helping us become the people he wants us to be. We can trust that he will continue to do so.