Wednesday of the Eleventh Week in Ordinary Time
You have a Father in heaven who sees what is hidden and who will repay you. He is not swayed by appearances but penetrates through every layer, all the way down to the heart of the matter. This reality should console you on the one hand, but worry you on the other hand.
It should be worrisome because it means that you cannot manipulate God’s judgment of you. He is the supreme judge, and his judgment is exact. He cannot be taken in by any of your charms. He knows what you do in secret when no one else is looking. He knows all about your dark side, that side of yourself that you don’t let anyone else see, because it wouldn’t be appropriate. If your dark side is like mine, you know that you have gotten away with doing some things that you shouldn’t have done, and nobody really knows about it, except God. Repent and confess those sins, if you have not already done so, and do penance.
When you do so, you will find God’s penetrating gaze quite consoling. He rejoices to see you doing what is right and just and holy, not for the sake of showing off but for the sake of goodness. Your Father sees in secret and he will repay you. You have an intimacy with God. Your entire self is bare before him, including your beautiful parts and your ugly parts, your presentable aspects, and your unpresentable aspects.
This intimacy, admittedly, is not reciprocal. God sees you completely, but on this side of heaven, you see God only darkly, as in a mirror (cf. 1 Cor 13:12). Nevertheless, this intimacy is real. You can live off of it, when you are alone, in solitude, and you can act upon it, when you encounter someone in need. And in eternity, the goodness of God will open to you in all its brilliance.