We simply do not know what goes on in the hearts of others. Here is Matthew, sitting at his desk, a sinner among the just. Everyone knows who he is. He’s the traitor, the one who helps the Romans steal money from his own people, and as if that’s not enough, he takes a cut, too. Is he faithful to anyone? Does he have any loyalties?
There is no one in that small town who didn’t know Matthew. The object of gossip and rumor, not to mention resentment and outright hatred, we can imagine that all his failures—not just the tax-collector ones—were widely broadcast. Of course, no one really knew him. Only the Lord, the “friend of tax collectors and sinners,” had such a privilege. Being his friend, perhaps his one friend, Jesus was able to see his truer self: a man stuck and trapped in sin, wanting to escape but not knowing how. So Jesus calls him in a single moment, giving him no opportunity to deliberate, no moment to think. Now must be the very moment Matthew decides, and his decision surprises us. This doesn’t look like the sinner we know. The speed and generosity of his response are unexplainable. From where did this come?
Could we please cease now to speak ill of the sinner? Our Lord is their friend, and we know nothing of their heart. Probably there is greater virtue than we imagine and greater depths than we experience. All conversion is grace and the Lord waits for his moment, the right moment for each of us, where he calls clearly and without hesitation: “Follow me.”