There is an interesting grouping of readings today. In the first reading from the Acts of the Apostles, Paul and Barnabas tell the faithful It is necessary for us to undergo many hardships for us to enter the Kingdom of God. In the Gospel, Jesus tells the disciples to love one another. It is no coincidence that suffering and love are paired together. This is not to say that suffering is essential to love; if that were so, then Revelation would not say [God] will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away. If love reigns in the Kingdom of God and there is no suffering in Heaven, then suffering cannot be essential to love. Suffering must be related to love in a different way.
Catholic theology traditionally defines love as willing the good of the other for their own sake. This definition means that love is in the realm of decisions - it is not a mere feeling. To take it even further, St. Ignatius of Loyola teaches us in the Spiritual Exercises that love is shown more in deeds than in words; love becomes concrete in our deeds. If love is essentially selfless and generous - if love is perfected by our deeds - then perfect love will also place the good of the other above one’s own mere preferences. In other words, love makes us willing to be inconvenienced for another’s good. As soon as we are willing to be inconvenienced for another’s good, then we open the door to suffering and sacrifice.
Suffering for the sake of love can play itself out in dramatic ways. One need only look at the Cross to be reminded of that. Perhaps one can also recall loved ones who suffered greatly for others. Consider the suffering of migrants fleeing violence, single parents working two jobs, first responders who willingly face danger to save lives, etc. Yet when it comes to suffering, we must never allow ourselves to focus on the dramatic at the expense of the mundane. There are small ways we can be inconvenienced for the love of others, and these are often the inconveniences that we most ignore. How many of us would say with all honesty “I would die for my family”, but would look for any excuse at all to avoid helping unload groceries from the car, for example? Perhaps, a dramatic sacrifice will never be demanded of us (and may we rise to the occasion if it occurs), but the little inconveniences occur multiple times a day. May we embrace even those small, inglorious inconveniences as opportunities to love.